Understanding Men

It was another hot July day in the Midwest. The heat from the afternoon sun was beginning to take it's toll on the two men nailing new shingles on the parsonage roof. The older man, the church pastor, now in his late sixties, had asked one of the young men of the church to help him with the roofing job. They had just finished the back side of the roof and now had about three bundles of shingles down on the front side facing the street.

The pastor had to smile when his younger friend stopped and stood up so he could take a better look at a pretty girl walking by the church parsonage. She looked about the same age as his young friend, twenty something or there about. She had a nice figure, a dark tan, and was wearing a white tank top with tight cut off jean shorts ... you know, she looked like the beautiful all American girl. She also noticed him because she looked up and smiled as she walked on down the sidewalk.

After he grabbed another shingle and went back to work, he said to his Pastor ... "I guess you noticed I was watching that girl. I'm sorry, I just can't help looking at pretty girls."

After another minute or so he asked this question ... "Pastor, when do you think I will stop being attracted to pretty girls?" His old pastor's reply was ... "When they take a shovel and pat the dirt over your face."

Men are just made different than women. I don't know why God made women so beautiful and attractive to the male species. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great ... if we males weren’t sexually attracted to women, the human race would cease to exist. I heard one man say once ... "If women weren't physically made like they are, men would put a bounty on them." He had gotten into an argument that morning with his wife.

But that does just about sum it up. In the first marriage class my wife and I attended after we were married, our pastor's wife made this statement explaining the difference between men and women and their motivation for ... "love and marriage." She said, "Men love, because of sex, and women have sex, because of love."

And from observation over the years, I think she was right. Men are just wired differently than women. To a man ... the importance of the God ordained sexual relationship with his wife would rank second, right after honor. To a woman ... that same God ordained sexual relationship would rank about fourteenth, right after gardening.

Because men are wired as they are, Jesus forewarns men about "girl watching."

Matthew 5:28 ... "Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

It's not the attraction that the beauty of a woman brings to man that is the problem. God gave men the attraction and interest in, and even the desire to find a woman to be a life partner. That's why in Genesis 2:18 God said ... "it wasn't good for Adam to be alone" ... he needed a life partner, a woman to be with him.

The warning Jesus gave, was not related only to looking at the beauty of God's female creature ... it was warning man not to lust after her. Men are stimulated by just looking at a woman.

That's why carnally minded men look at pornography. I was going to say un-regenerated men, but sadly ... so do some believers in Jesus. I'm not trying to give men an excuse ... because they have none ... but men are very weak when it comes to the physical beauty and attractiveness of a woman.

Notice this warning is to men ... not women. Generally a woman responds more to the loving touch of her man, not from the sight of him. But in todays society it seems as though all general rules have been done away with. The world (Hollywood) tries to portray men and women as sexually the same ... but they’re not. Women's lib openly suggests for women to be the aggressor, on the hunt looking to satisfy their own sexual passions. The male is the hunter gatherer, not the female.

I'm reminded what John Wayne once said ... "If women would get back up on the pedestal where they belong, men would keep them there."

Sorry ... I've strayed off my message, which is ... men, be careful what you look at. Looking at the wrong thing can change your life ... if you allow it to.

In the following example, we have a man looking at the wrong thing accidentally ... in this case it was a beautiful woman; and then through it, he allowed lust to form in his heart. This is the situation King David found himself in.

2nd Samuel 11:2 ... "And it came to pass in the evening, that David arose from his bed, (perhaps from the evening heat, which would explain the following) and walked upon the flat roof of his house, and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon."

No one really knows why Bathsheba was bathing late in the evening. She may have waited until it was cooler after sundown which would allow her to bathe on her balcony or even on the rooftop in seclusion ... or so she thought.

So with David, looking turned into watching, and watching turned into thoughts of desire, and desire grew into lust, and lust became sin. All David had to do was divert his eyes and turn away ... but he didn't. He was a man.

When men, trying to excuse their lustful desire say ... "I can't help myself" ... they're lying. Go ahead, try blaming God for making you this way, it won't work. The Apostle James wrote about this very same subject on the first page of his letter to the Christian Jews when he said to them ...

"Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man. But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren."

Let's be real honest here ... Bathsheba bathing in the moonlight would catch any man's eye. Any normal man would be tempted to take a second look even longer than the first glimpse was. I'm being as honest here as I can. Even me.

This was perhaps the greatest temptation David ever faced. But do not ever forget ... temptation is not sin.

Looking, wasn't sin. You can't help what you see. But was watching Bathsheba bathe sin? Not quite yet, but it opened the door to sin. Watching I'm sure, quickly turned into desire ... now David is walking through that door. But is desire, sin? Take the next step with David ... his desire from watching a beautiful woman bathe, now turns into lust.

Okay, let's look at what James said ... "when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin."

The Greek word for lust, as used here is "epithumia" (pronounced ep-ee-thoo-mee'-ah) and means simply ... a longing (especially for what is forbidden) a desire.

I also want to look at the word conceived. Normally we think of a baby being conceived in the womb. This isn't quite like that, although it is close. The word James uses in the Greek is "sullambanō" (pronounced sool-lam-ban'-o) and means ... to clasp, that is, to seize, to catch and take captive.

I may be splitting hairs with this conclusion, but when David saw Bathsheba bathing; as far as we know an unplanned accident; and then because he stayed and kept on looking, David's desire became ... "lustful desire" ... and just as James said, lust was conceived and took him captive.

When you are taken captive by someone or something, you are not in charge any more ... your captor is in charge. Each and every step David took in the process that night, set him up for sexual lust, that longing, that forbidden desire to have Bathsheba and it took him captive.

Let me once again give us weak men and perhaps women who may also need this good advice from Nicholas Herman, the old seventeenth century Carmelite monk from French Lorraine that I often quote. He said ... "We should seek to learn the sins that do most easily beset us and the times and occasions, when we do most often fall."

With men, the times and occasions just might be ... looking at their own Bathsheba.


Comments welcome.


Oh yes, I thought that my next post might be ... "Understanding Women" ... but after thinking about it, I realized that is impossible.

Blessings ...