The Death of a Child

I can only imagine the grief and sorrow a parent must go through when a child dies. I have watched from the sidelines a few times when family or friends have lost children through sickness, accidents and now once again in a recent case of SIDS or crib death.

The very first experience I had concerning the death of a child happened when I was around five or six years old. My aunt and uncle lived next door to us so I was able to watch this whole thing play out in front of my young eyes.

My aunt had given birth to a baby that developed some kind of heart condition which caused it's little heart to grow too fast. Evidently from what I was told, it's heart enlarged to the point where it couldn't breath anymore. That summer I watched my aunt sit under a shade tree with her sick little baby praying to God that the Lord Jesus Christ, would heal her little boy. But it wasn't to be. He died.

When I was in my late twenties, I was talking to my uncle about his baby dying that summer, when he shared what I am going to share with you. My uncle was a believer in Jesus also, as was my aunt. In fact he was very close to the pastor of the church both of our families attended. I guess you could say he was the pastors right hand man.

Well anyway, Pastor told my uncle that the Lord had impressed upon him so strongly, that he believed that when a child dies, that child remains a child in Heaven until the parents get to Heaven where they are then allowed to watch their child grow up to full stature in the Lord.

Did he have Scripture for that? No. There is none. Does it hurt to believe that? I don't think it does … in fact it might bring a small amount of comfort, don't you think?

If I remember correctly … the reason my uncle and I were talking about this subject was because of another death of a child in our family. The youngest sister of my aunt had her daughter die in her arms as they rushed this sweet, beautiful little four year old girl to the hospital one morning. The details aren't important other than … how do you accept something like this?

A couple of years or so after the death of this little four year old girl, her grandmother died. As I was working on my job a few days later … a scene opened up in front of my eyes that now as I look back on what I saw and heard, I wonder if it was a vision from the Lord … it was that real. I saw a part of Heaven unfold as if I had just walked into this beautiful grassy park with flowers all in bloom and a fresh mountain breeze blowing gently. Everything was perfect ... but I was only there as an observer.

The next thing I saw was my little four year old cousin that had died in her mothers arms, standing next to Jesus. About the same time, I saw Grandma as she first arrived in Heaven, and Grandma was headed to the both of them. But there was something different about the way she looked. Grandma was no longer bent over, but rather was walking tall and straight as she approached them. I also noticed her wrinkles were gone … it was Grandma, only younger.

As Grandma came closer to them, my little cousin turned to Jesus and as she tugged on His sleeve, He bent down so He could hear her whisper … “Can I show Grandma around?” A smile came across the face of Jesus and He gave her a nod of approval as He stood back up.

I will never forget that smile as Jesus sent her over to her grandmother. He just beamed as He watched this sweet little thing take her grandma's hand and say … “Grandma, what took you so long? I've been waiting for you.” And off the two of them went.

It's been thirty-five years since I was given this glimpse into the spirit realm; just a little peek into Heaven … and it's just as real now as I hit the keys on this keyboard as it was back then.

And now … the recent crib death or SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome. A young couple who attends our church just lost their five month old baby. He was perfectly healthy one evening as he was placed in his crib for the night, but never woke up the next morning. Instead of a smiling baby, these parents woke up to unbelievable devastation, pain, grief, sorrow … it was all there.

I am unsure if I have the right answer for everyone, but what I believe works for me. So that brings me to this question … “What would Heaven be like without children?” Doesn't Heaven need the sound of laughter and giggles of children playing?

When SIDS happen … there is a reason, but it's known only to Him. When God … the one who owns even our breath, decides to take back what really belongs only to Him anyway; do we willingly submit to His will … even though we don't understand it. Do we really have a choice in the matter? We can't change what happened.

The truth is, all we can do is trust Him each day for the care of our children and then say from our hearts at the end of the day … thank you Lord.

But … if God's care isn't exactly the same as we are asking and believing Him for, will we say by faith anyway … “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Having never gone through the death of a child myself … although I watched my daughter lose her first child … I would hope, had I gone through that loss, that I would remain strong and continue to believe that God's will was fulfilled in my child’s life … even through death.

My two girls are middle aged now, but they are still my children, and I pray every day for God's keeping power over their lives. I never want to find out if I have what it takes to hang on to God if I were to lose a child to the final enemy … death.

May God be praised.


Comments welcome.