I Miss Him

I woke up today, walked into my bathroom, looked into the mirror and saw a stranger looking back at me. What happened to the man I used to be?

I miss him.

I remember a young man with dark brown curly hair. The guy I saw in my mirror had very little hair on top; what was there no longer was brown … kind of a dirty gray. He also looked old and tired. I remember him a little taller, not much, maybe an inch and a half or so.

Gravity … it must have bent him over some. He also looks and feels a little bit heavier than he used to be. This old guy no longer has the same muscle tone he used to have, he's weaker and a little slower … no, a lot slower these days.

But you know what? I really don't care. You know why? Because … "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)

There's another thing I miss even more than my youth … the faith in God I had as a young believer. Has life stolen it from me?

As a young believer I didn't know there were some things God wouldn't do. It's not that He isn't able; He has the ability. Luke 1:37 … "For with God nothing shall be impossible."

I read in my Bible that Jesus said in John 14:14 … "If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." All you had to do was ask. That settled it for me.

I miss that.

Life has taken its toll on me I guess. I'm not even sure if "toll" is the right word to use. I think it is. (It means … value measured by what must be given or done or undergone to obtain something.) In other words … "the cost paid in life."

But have I obtained or given up … faith in God? It has to be one or the other.

I know more about God now than I did in my youth. I still believe … that's not in question. When I was younger I knew most of the answers … or so I thought. As I look into this mirror today, the one truth that hasn't changed over time is this … "Jesus was and still is the answer" … no matter what.

In my youth, I guess you could say I was … "armed and dangerous" … or so I thought. I just believed the Word of God was true. Quote it, say it, claim it and you will receive it ... bless God. But of course that formula didn't always work. I thought God was obligated to answer our prayers. Was that faith or presumption?

But then I learned it wasn't about me or what I wanted. It was about what God wanted for me. I have finally accepted as truth that God and God alone is Sovereign and that He operates His Providence, His loving watch care over us with grace and mercy … as He so chooses.

So what has life taught me as I have walked one step at a time on the path God has set before me? Do you realize that God only lights our path far enough ahead so we can only see the next step. He wants us to take each step … by faith. If we could see down the path farther, there would be times when we wouldn't want to continue on that pathway.

Many times He sends us out into the storm as He did with His disciples for the single purpose of … "putting our faith on trial."

And when that happens, the best advice for us comes from a pretty intelligent man by the name of Solomon who wrote in Proverbs 3:5-6 … "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

In the Book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon himself places life on trial, using this question as a basis … "What does man have left after all of his labor in which he toils under the sun?"

The effect of this trial was the discovery that every effort to be happy ends in nothing. The greater the capacity for enjoyment, the deeper and wider is the experience of disappointment in life. Pleasure does not satisfy and cannot secure happiness in this world.

There is no allusion to the truth that we are dead in sins and offences. The result in the mind of Solomon from the trial of life is this … There is nothing better than to enjoy the things which God has given us; but in the end he says … "the fear of God is the whole duty of man" … and that should be what rules our walk on earth, not the gratifying of our own will.

In Solomon's Proverbs we have practical moral guidance as we walk through life in this world. But in Ecclesiastes, Solomon gives the result of his placing life on trial. The result is that it is … "this world" … that is brought into question … not God.

Am I the same guy I was in my youth? No. I don't need to look into a mirror to know that. Do I really miss him? No, not really. I miss the potential he had and wasted. It takes time to learn; and I'm a slow learner. I thank God for His patience with me.

So, what have I learned from the trials of life? "Pray, trust God and go on."

It doesn't matter if life isn't fair. That should have no bearing on how we walk through life. Many years ago, Peggy … my gift from God to help me through this life … said the following statement to me that has acted as a level, a pivot point, a stake in the rocky ground, a compass to find my direction when I'm lost.

"If it won't change where you spend eternity … then it doesn't really matter."

Three thousand or so years ago another saint of God must have felt the very same way as Peggy does because he wrote …

"Although (which means … even though, in spite of the fact that) the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation." (Habakkuk 3:17-18)

Blessings to you as you grow older and wiser in the Lord …