A Cranky Old Man

If you study the basic characteristics of people, you will find there are four different temperaments.  Mine happens to be the melancholy type.  Being a melancholy means I'm a little sensitive about certain things in life.  Maybe pensive might be the right word ... giving thought to, and pondering God's care over the past 69 years of my life.

So ... today, feeling a little melancholy, I thought I would post something different, something sensitive to my heart.  Aging ... the process of growing old.  But don't worry, I'm not depressed about the process because I'm just that much closer to seeing Jesus.  And the older I get, it becomes easier for me to understand how an old man can look back on his life and reminisce about past events.

What I'm going to share today is not mine.  It's been around for over 40 years or so.  You may have already read it.  If you have, it won't hurt to read it again.  It was supposedly written by a lonely old man in a nursing home where he spent his last days alone with his memories before he died.  At least this is how I recall the story that came with it.

I found this prose-poem entitled ... "A Cranky Old Man."  I don't know if he was cranky.  Maybe he was; but in the end I think he just finally gave up knowing his life had been full and it was time.

The author relates his life from the perspective of an elderly man whose nurses just perceive him as a cranky old man who needs constant care ... rather than the man he was or the life he lived before they knew him.
 
Take notice of the last line he writes, but not until you read what he says ahead of it.

                                                             ~~~~~~~~


"What do you see nurses?  What do you see?  What are you thinking when you're looking at me?  A cranky old man, not very wise, uncertain of habit with faraway eyes; who dribbles his food and makes no reply when you say in a loud voice, I wish you would try! 

Who seems not to notice the things that you do.  And forever is losing a sock or shoe?  Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will, with bathing and feeding the long day to fill.  Is that what you're thinking?  Is that what you see?  Then open your eyes nurse, you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still, as I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.  I'm a small child of Ten, with a father and mother, brothers and sisters who love one another.  A young boy of Sixteen with wings on his feet, dreaming that soon now a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty, my heart gives a leap.  Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.  At Twenty-Five, now I have young of my own, who need me to guide and secure happy home.  A man of Thirty, my young now grown fast, bound to each other with ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons have grown and are gone, but my woman is beside me to see I don't mourn.  At Fifty, once more babies play 'round my knee; again, we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my wife is now dead.  I look at the future, I shudder with dread;  for my young are all rearing young of their own.  I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man and nature is cruel.  It's jest to make old age look like a fool.  The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart.  There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass, a young man still dwells, and now and again my battered heart still swells.  I remember the joys, I remember the pain, and I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast, and accept the stark fact, that nothing can last.  So open your eyes people, open and see, not a cranky old man ... 

Look closer ... see ME."

                                                              ~~~~~~~~


After reading what this old man had to say about his life ... I'm feeling kind of mortal ...  because we are mortal.  You know, it's in the Book ... we are appointed to die and after that, the judgment. (Hebrews 9:27)

But I'm blessed.  Unlike this old man, I still have my loving wife beside me.  And I'm not really all that old yet ... but I'm getting there. 

Selah

I've read this word hundreds of times in the Psalms over the past 50 years or so.  It's placed 71 times there for a reason.  I really don't know if all of the psalms were put to music, but many were. 

I wasn't aware that I was pronouncing it wrong, until I looked up the pronunciation for it.  I was saying ... "See'-la" ... which isn't quite right.  I still have a problem trying to pronounce it properly.  Selah is pronounced ... "Seh'-law."  It's just plain hard for me to say correctly.

I was going to write about "Trusting God" when this word caught my attention.  Here's what I was reading ...

Psalms 46:1-3 ... "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.  Selah."

Before looking at these three verses, I needed to find out why this word Selah was placed where it was.  This particular psalm was written for music.  Evidently, the first three verses were to be sung together before taking a pause, with a suspension of the music between the third and forth verses.

The word "Selah" means just that ... "a pause" ... in both, the music and singing.  Perhaps this was to give the singers a breath, and those hearing it, a moment for reflection.

The psalmist is boldly proclaiming the fact that "God is our refuge and strength ..." amidst the storm, the shaking of our personal world, the destruction of dreams that tries to shatter our faith.  When the tempest comes ... take a breath and pause ... but we do not suspend our song because of it.  We are in no hurry because ...

If God is our refuge and strength, then we can sit down and wait while the earth dissolves, the mountains shake, and the oceans roar all around us.  It really is about ... trusting God ... what I started to write about.

God is our refuge and strength ... not our armies or vaunted impregnable fortresses.  We don't want to forget the personal possessive word ... "our" ... and make sure He is your personal refuge to run to in times of trouble.  In fact, that might be a good way to start each day ... by confessing with your mouth, "God is my refuge and my strength."

Now I want to expand on some of the words in this psalm.  The word refuge means "a shelter you can trust."  Notice it's tied to the word strength; and as used here implies "security."

God is also a very present help ... this phrase suggests "intensive present aid" or so He has been found to be.  He is close, and ready to aid; in fact ... God is more present than even the trouble itself.

Therefore ... the psalmist uses this word many times throughout this book.  When the word therefore begins a new thought, it usually means ... because of what has just been said.    

In this case it is because God is present with us; therefore we need not worry or fear about what is going on around us.  Let the worst come, whatever that may be;  God will still remain faithful ... "though the earth be removed."

When bad things happen to good people, when life's trouble shows up on your doorstep and tries to disturb your peace ... faith smiles on ... serenely, peacefully, calmly and untroubled.

Selah ... take a breath and pause ... God is our refuge and strength.

God alone, all by Himself ... without any help from anyone, made this earth and formed man ... so I believe He knows what it takes to care for each one of us.  God doesn't go on vacation and never needs a break from His work.  Therefore He can and will be there when we need Him. 

It's in the Book. 

Our Flesh ... Aaaggghhhh!!!

 
Does your flesh ever give you trouble?  Mine does.  The flesh doesn't like the word ... wait, or no, not now.  It wants instant gratification.  Why can't the flesh wait?  It's like, no ... I want it now!  But I'm learning slowly.

Have you ever seen these spoiled little brats out in public, screaming uncontrollably at their mother, throwing a temper tantrum because they can't get their way?  Makes you just want to go over and slap both the kid and the mom ... the kid for acting that way, and the mom for letting him act that way. 

Do you suppose God looks at us the same way we look at these unruly brats and want to slap us once in a while?  Couldn't blame Him if He did.

It's a good thing I'm not God.  This world would be a different place.  There would be a whole lot fewer people you would have to mess with.

Most of us can identify with the Apostle Paul in at least this one way ... desiring to live a life that is pleasing to God.  Isn't that what most believers want to do?  Yet we fail, don't we.  Not in all things though.  But it's a slow growing process. 

As the old seventeenth century French monk, Nicholas Herman once said ... "One does not become holy all at once."

Back to Paul ... he was the man who was caught up to heaven (2nd Corinthians 12:4) and was told things not lawful to speak about.  He was also the man who wrote half of the New Testament.  Even so ... this man Paul states that he is just like we are ... a human that had to battle his flesh.  Aaaggghhhh! 

That means even though his heart and will had been changed by the Holy Spirit, his flesh still wanted what his old nature wanted.  That means, yes ... he still sinned.  He speaks about this in Romans 7:15-21. 

If you will allow me ... I want to replace Paul's words with my words, my own interpretation of them as I try to grasp and get a hold on what he is saying.  This is what I understand this portion of scripture is saying.

"The bad or wrong things that I do, I don't want to do and continually try to stop them; and the good things I want to do, I don't always do; but those things I hate, that's what I end up doing. 
But it's really not me who does these things, but rather it's the sin nature that dwells in my flesh.
I know that there is nothing good in my natural flesh … but my spirit, heart and will to do good is present inside of me … but I can't find how to make my flesh perform the good that my spirit has willed me to do.
The good that I want to do, I don't do; but the evil I don't want to do, that's what I often do.
Now if I do the evil that I don't want to do; it's not really me still doing it; it's the sin nature left within me.
What I have found then is a natural law … when I want to do good, the sin nature is always present in my flesh."

When Paul said … "it is no more I that do it" … he is explaining that since he did not approve of what his flesh did, but rather hated what he did, and "willed" the contrary, it was no longer he that performed the evil deed.

He explains … it was the "sin that dwelleth in me" … the old natural man, the carnal man; it was the evil sin nature that was still present in him rising up.  It was the law of sin which not only still existed in him, but dwelt in him, was at home in his flesh, and worked evil in him at times, as it does in all of us and will as long as we are in the body of flesh.  

That's why he said … "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing."  The man of flesh never gets saved, nor can he.  It is your "will" ... your spiritual heart that the Holy Spirit changes ... not your flesh.  

I'm sure you have heard it said that the real you ... is the eternal spirit ... that lives inside of your body.  It's been called your soul, your heart, your spirit man, etc.  That's the part that gains salvation and is changed, the born again spirit within.

Well, I'm here to tell you, that ... the flesh ... is just as much the real you, as is that spirit man within.  They are connected.  When God breathed life into Adam's flesh, he became a living soul.  It took both.  Not just flesh.  Not just spirit. 

We are not "spooks" trapped inside of a body.  God already had spirit beings in heaven.  He wanted someone with a warm body of flesh.  And a heart of flesh ... and all the problems that comes with both being together ... because He can fix all the problems.  I don't understand everything I know.  I'm not here to explain how and why God did what He did.  I except it for what it is.

So, where does that leave us?  Well, with our changed heart and soul, and our fallen, carnal natural flesh ... all in the same package ... we do battle once and a while don't we.  But even so ...

God loves us ... as we are.

Knowing God's Nature and Will

Who is God?  What's He like?  What's His nature and character?  Well, I'm no theologian, but the most common answer given is ... love.  According to what I have found by studying the Word of God, everything God has ever done, was and still is based on this one principle ... God's love for us.

His nature is love.  That's who He is.  God loves His creation.  He proved that when He sent Jesus to be our Savior and take our sin upon Himself on the cross.  We know a little bit about Jesus from the writings of those who saw Him and walked with Him while He was on the earth.  But what about God Himself ... the one who sent His Son to die in our place ... what do we know about Him?

God is our maker, redeemer and keeper.  God didn't just lower Himself to our level, although He did just that with Jesus, but rather His goal was and is to raise us up to be with Him.  We can rely on the nature and integrity of His character ... being full of confidence that His love is unchanging. 

When you know that your present, your future, your health, your life, and your destiny, depends totally on God's ability ... not yours ... then you can rest in Him and can willingly place all these things into the hands of a God who loves you and is deeply committed to you.

God is consistent in His nature but He is also unpredictable.  You never know what God is going to do next; but you always know … what He is going to be like.

Did you know that God keeps secrets?  You do know that God doesn't tell you everything, right?

Deuteronomy 29:29 … "The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."

When we look at this text we see a distinction is made between the secret things and the revealed things; or one could speak of it as ... the hidden will and the revealed will of God for us. 

God has not revealed everything that could possibly be known about Himself or all His intentions concerning the world.  So those unrevealed hidden things ... those things that He has purposely chosen not to reveal to us, the "secret things" refer to what has been called ... "the hidden will of God."

But at the same time we are not left totally in the dark as though God has not told us anything about Himself or His "will" for our lives.

When most people speak about the will of God they are talking about the "revealed" will of God called the "Decretive" will.  This decretive will of God is that which God Sovereignly brings to pass … He decrees it so.  It has also been called the absolute will of God because it will absolutely come to pass.  When God Sovereignly decrees something … it must come to pass.

There is also what is called the "Preceptive" will of God.  The decretive will of God … cannot be resisted … it must happen.  The preceptive will of God … can be resisted … it's our choice.  It refers to what God wants you to do, the things or lifestyle that is revealed in His Word as to how you should conduct your life.  You perceive God's will, but you don't have to obey; you can resist it if you want.  You shouldn't ... but you can as a free moral agent.

And then there are the secret things of God, spoken of in Deuteronomy 29:29, which are ... "the hidden will of God."

The first thing you must understand about the hidden will of God is that … it is hidden.  Unless you can read God's mind it will stay hidden.  All you can do is read God's word; but even then the Word only gives you God's … "revealed will."

God will not tell us everything or answer every question we have.  Some things remain hidden from us.  God may have a secret plan for your life that's none of your business; but at the same time He may be directing your path step by step.  We all want to know the future, what's ahead for us; but it is best if it's left in God's hands.  Our end is only for God to know; that is His business not ours. 

"The secret things belong unto the LORD …" they are not our possessions, they are not ours; they belong only to God.  This is why the secret things, the hidden things of God, even His unrevealed plans for us, don't belong to us; they are not our property, they are God's.  And so are we.

"… but those things which are revealed belong unto us …" God has taken some of His willed plans for us and revealed them to us through the Word of God.

I've come to the conclusion that God doesn't follow any set rules.  God can and will do whatever He pleases, whenever He pleases.  He may do one thing one time, and something totally different another time.  But know this, it's always done out of His love for us. 

We are within His loving care ... and are now living in the days of grace.  There are no good days or bad days.  There are only days full of grace.  Some days the grace of God allows you to enjoy what is happening.  And some days the grace of God allows you to endure what is happening.

Many times God allows in His wisdom what His power could prevent.  Even so, enjoy the grace that is present with you each day.  The grace of God is going to come to you each day and bring with it … the nature of God … that you might know Him, rest in Him, move in Him, worship Him and represent Him.

You are perfect for God.  He is going to make you … perfect in His nature … stamping the image of Jesus on you.